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I recently recruited a woman for a sales position in our company. It was obvious from the start that there was a strong attraction between us. I find it hard to meet nice women, and I am afraid that if I don't pursue a romantic relationship with this one, I will be alone forever. Is it appropriate for me to ask her out?
WHAT THE EXPERT SAYS: Does your company have a policy on dating in the workplace? If so, where does this situation fall? If it is against company policy to date people you work with, decide how much of a risk you are willing to take to date this person.
HR people are typically held to higher standards than others in the organization, because they are the ones responsible for making and enforcing personnel policies. If it is against company policy to date people who are employed by your company and word gets out that you are doing so, you will probably find yourself seeking employment elsewhere. And this kind of termination won't look great on your records. An HR person being terminated for breaking company policy is like a fireman being caught setting fire to a building.
But let's say your company doesn't have a policy on dating. You will have to decide how comfortable you are tying your work life to your personal life. Some people find it hard to turn their jobs off when they leave the office. If you date someone who works for the same company, you will probably spend evenings and weekends talking about work. If you'd rather leave your job at work, think twice about moving ahead with this.
Policy or no policy, your new relationship could compromise your position at work. If, for instance, you have access to confidential information like starting salaries and there is a leak in the office, colleagues might immediately assume you've indulged in some indiscreet pillow talk. Or, if you are involved in the employee referral program and your new love interest receives three employee referral bonuses in a month, it will be hard to convince anyone it's mere coincidence. You will need to be thick-skinned to handle such situations. Face it: People will talk. If you don't want to be the subject of their conversations, reconsider this relationship.
And then, of course, there is the often inevitable end of the relationship. If the relationship ends (and most office romances do), how will you feel about going to work every day? You may say you will be fine, but will you really be happy when your ex shows up at the holiday party with a new significant other?
As you can see, there is good reason that many companies now have policies against employee dating. But even if your company doesn't, workplace romances can create the stickiest of sticky situations. Think long and hard before you let your heart lead your head.
